Genesis/Farrah

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:30 am

Farrah's eyes darted down as she began chipping away her nailpolish as the subject of children came up. It took her a moment of hesitation to bring up the courage to speak. "I know what I said.. I do want kids, Gen. I need you though." She murmured. Of course she wanted to fill the void of losing a child, she had always wanted to be a mother, but would she be able to function positively and be a good person without Genesis there to guide her and help her along? He did help her become a better person and grow, he pushed her to succeed. But while they were still on the topic, she figured she would add another thing to the list against Zack. She hoped it wouldn't bother Genesis, it was something she needed to know and honestly Farrah was hurt he hadn't told her. "Mm.. Zack. He told me our chances of having children, mine and yours.. Why didn't you tell me?" She asked softly. Her eyes were still avoiding him, mostly because she didn't want to see his face if he was hurt by her question. It wasn't something any man would be fond of talking about, but she struggled with slim chances of concieving and that, she hoped, would have gave him the comfort of telling her about his own problems.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:41 am

"Because you want kids. You want kids possialbly enough to leave me." Genesis stated, making a mental note to beat Zack's ass harder the next time he saw him. That was Genesis' business. Very personal business. Zack didn't need to be telling Farrah that. "There's a really good fucking chance I can't give you kids. What guy wants to admit to his girlfriend that he's not even capable of giving her the one thing she wants most?" Genesis asked, his voice expressing slight tones of anger. "What if I told you that the thing I wanted most in life was to be a father? And you knew you couldn't have kids. How would that make you feel?" He questing in retort. Genesis had long accepted the slim chance of him having kids, it was so embeded in his head that he didn't want kids even if he was capable at this point. He had been informed that part of treatment for an illness that came up when he was 8 was infertility. He didn't care then, he hadn't ever cared until Farrah said she wanted kids most out of everything.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Mon Jan 09, 2012 11:51 am

Farrah's eyes flickered up toward his face at the tone his voice had taken recently on this topic. She hadn't meant to anger him, and she knew he was just frustrated, but she didn't want him to feel that way. Reaching out to him, Farrah wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin onto his shoulder. "Hey.. I have extremely low chances of having kids, Genesis.. you know that already. And it hurts me. I would feel like shit if I couldn't give you waht you wanted, but I don't see you as any less of a man because you might not be able to have children. That doesn't change the fact that I love you. It's upsetting, yes, that I don't know if I can have the, that my chances are so slim. I'm sure you would feel that way too, but I wouldn't expect you to hate me for it. I don't hate you for it.." Taking a deep breath, Farrah released her grip on Genesis and directed her attention toward him again. "I just wish you would have told me.. I don't want there to be secrets.. I don't want these big important things to be ignored. Hell, I don't even want little things to be left out. I want to get to know you better..I want this relationship to grow." She insisted.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:33 am

Genesis sighed and leaned back against the counter, rapping his fingers against the countertop as he looked down. "No guy wants to admit everything down there isn't fully functioning. I didn't want to admit that to you, especially. I just thought telling you I didn't want kids would be enough. I mean, I don't but I'm also not all that capable. I never thought I'd have to tell you." Genesis attempted to explain himself, stuttering over several words. "I won't keep secrets from you, if you ask me something...anything. I'll tell you the truth. You mean to much to me to lie to you." He added, looking up and tilting his head to the side so his hair no longer hung in his face, his voice sincere. His eyes soon shifted down to the label of the bottle he held in his hand, his thumb running over the bottom of it. "I'm very hurt though. You have no idea how much you mean to me. You have no idea how much I just want to drink my way out of feeling my heart being crushed. But I love you, and I know you don't want me drinking like this." He took a big drink from the bottle before holding it over the sink and pouring the rest out.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Thu Feb 02, 2012 10:48 am

Farrah's eyes cast over the bottle of alcohol after hearing Genesis's speech. It was evident that he was in pain, that she had hurt him deeply even though it wasn't her own intentions, but she wanted to work on it, to fix it. Even if he couldn't completely forgive her, to at least begin a new chapter for them in their lives. That would be starting with their vices - alcohol wasn't something she could tolerate, not a drunken man at least. She had fallen victim to a beating far too many times before due to drinking and she wasn't going to have that become a normal or even occasional thing with him. She had learned her lesson. She also would be working on her eating disorder and her tendency to self-mutilate. Taking things slowly, a fresh new start, it sounded just what the two of them needed and it needed to take effect immediately. "I don't want you to think that just because you aren't capable of having kids means I don't love you. I want kids, yes.. maybe in the future, far, far away in the future, we can have a discussion about them. But right now isn't the time to focus on that. It's not the immediately important thing. We need to focus on us. Getting this mess we have right now into a better, stable place. I know I fucked up.. And I don't expect you to ever completely forgive me for it. But I want to work through this with you.. Because I realize now more than ever.. I can't lose you. You're the solid foundation that keeps me sane." She admitted, peering up at him with timid eyes. She wasn't sure how far to push things since the wounds were still fresh. All she wanted to do was cuddle, curl up and kiss him and knowthings would be just fine.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:12 am

"If you want kids that much, you don't want me. It's not a 'we can deal with it later' situation. It would just hurt more for you to stay until you decide that you need kids in your life to be happy. We need to discuss the now, it'll be harder later on." Genesis said frustratedly as he walked to the the dining room an pulled out a sit, pushing the other chair out easily with his foot. "Sit." He said quietly, clearing his throat. He wasn't totally sober, but he was sober enough to discuss this. He wanted to get it over with and while the alcohol could take edge off would be better. "Before you do, pour out the tequila in the cabinet above the fridge and put my ID in your bag." He wanted to get all the alcohol out of the house. He would drink himself into oblivion if he had the opportunity too, that was how he dealt with pain. Numbing it.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:22 am

Farrah jumped slightly at the sudden movement of the chair Genesis had pushed out and summoned for her to take a seat. Turning quicky on her heel, she stepped onto her tiptoes and grabbed the bottle of alcohol he had designated her to be rid of and poured it down the drain. It took a moment's hesitation to open his wallet and grab his drivers liscence though, afraid of his intentions had she not done as instructed. Slipping it into her purse that reeked of pot, she tossed it back down and slowly sat down on the chair in front of him, swallowing hard before gathering up the courage to look at him, and even then it wasn't in the eye. She sat quietly, resigned, defeated. It was terrifying to wait in silence to hear what he had to say. They hadn't ever taken the time to talk about something this serious, much less in a situation where things were totally topsy turvy. "I want a family badly, Gen.. but I don't think that I could ever give you up.. You're too important to me."

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:48 am

Genesis watched her take his ID, his tone was firm in direction towards himself. He hadn't meant to intimidate"Think about what you want long term. You might want me more now, but long term. Can you see yourself at 50 being happy not having children or grandchildren?" Genesis asked seriously, placing his hands on the table in front of him and looking down at them before his eyes flickered back up to hers. "Would you honestly be happy with having just me? Only me? For the rest of your life? No kids, no grand kids, no daughter or son-in-laws? No mother or father-in laws? No nieces or nephews?" Genesis was an only kid, no chance of nieces or nephews. He didn't have any family. It was just him. "There wouldn't be any family. I don't have that, and you don't either. Could you live your entire life with me and only me?" He asked. "I don't need an exact answer, but if you know already that you can't be happy with only a man. I don't want to just be lead on and I don't want you to be unhappy." He finished, his voice firm.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:04 am

Her eyes strayed toward Genesis's hands. It was difficult to assess exactly what she wanted out of life. Weighing the cosequences of both of the desires she held, Farrah decided to think about the one that would be best for her well being. "I want you.. Can't you understand that? I know that I fucked up.. and I'm sorry. I'm always going to try to make last night up to you. And I don't even blame you for holding it over my head. But it was a breaking point. And it showed me what I want.. I don't want another man in my life, Genesis..Even if they could give me kids.. I don't even know if I can have them myself. And they wouldn't be you.. They wouldn't focus on me. And try to help me. I don't just love you.. I need you. And I hope that some day you'll realize that. And even need me too." Farrah said softly, grasping one of his hands between hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. "What do you want, Gen? This is your happiness too..your future." She murmured, bringing her eyes up to glance at his face for the first time.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:23 am

"I'm not holding it over your head." Genesis said bluntly, pulling his hands away from hers. "I'm trying to make you happy. I'm trying to make you figure out what you want for sure." He corrected. "I don't care what I want anymore. I gave up on that years ago. I just try to patch up everyone else's lives." Genesis admitted. Drugs put him out of emotions, he had shut emotions and rejection out years ago too. That's how Farrah had hurt him so much. She had started to break down those walls and make him feel like he was worth someone giving a damn about him. She threw it away in one night in weakness. And he clamed back up. He had finally given someone a chance and they threw it away. "If you want me, then I want to make you happy. " His body may of been here, but his mind was searching for an escape and his went straight back to snorting coke. He tried to push those thought sback out of his mind, but it wasn;t easy.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Thu Feb 09, 2012 9:34 am

Shaking her head quickly, Farrah hopped out of the chair that had been assigned to her. "It takes two to tango, Genesis, and the last time I checked, it took two people to be in a relationship. I want you to be happy, okay? I know I fucked it up last night. I'm miserable over the fact that I absolutely killed you because of it. You mean more to me than anyone else on the god damn planet. And I broke all of that trust you had in me.. You started to be happy. You started to relax. And I threw that away. Quite frankly I don't know why you haven't smacked me around. I wish you would even. Just. Punish me for breaking you down again. That makes more sense than to say that you love me.. to not break up with me." She insisted, her tone growing louder, sanity losing itself somewhere in the conversation. Instantly she began to clench her fist, resisting the urge to lock herself in the bathroom and begin to cut again. She assumed if she slipped into some old vices that it would create even more hell in the household. "I want you to be happy.. and if that means you can't be with me, then walk away. I'd rather miss out on you than make you completely miserable.. but I swear if you give me the opportunity to fix this I won't disappoint you again."

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:00 am

"You don't make me miserable. You made me feel happy for about the first time in my life. I never had someone give a fuck about me. and I don't know if I can open back up again to you or anyone. I'm pretty sure I won't. I'd rather be with you than be alone." Genesis said trying to calm her down. Her yelling making him flinch. "Baby, I'm gonna go out for a while. Jus-t-t." Genesis started to stutter as her fumbled for words. He didn't want out right tell her not to cut or throw up, he didn't want to make her feel bad about herself. "I love you, baby. Please don't do anything to yourself." He pleaded taking her hands in his as he leaned in to give her a quick, loving kiss. He needed to get away from the stressful enviroment. He hoped Farrah felt more comfortable having his ID. He didn't look too young, but young enough to get carded still. Genesis started towards the door, reaching for his jacket.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:15 am

It relieved her to have a gentle kiss instead of a slap across the face for once after a fight, but she knew Genesis wasn't the type of man to throw women around and abuse them. It nearly made her cry, the kiss, but she knew that she needed to calm down, for both of their sakes. Farrah shook her head lightly and followed Genesis to the door, standing in front of it and gingerly grasping the other half of his jacket before looking up at him. "Don't go.. This is your home more than mine.. I don't want to make you leave. I'll calm down.. I'll leave you be.. I'll leave for a little while even. Just. I won't be the reason you leave your home, Gen.. " Lacing her fingers through his, her eyes searched his face. "Please?" She asked quietly, tugging his hand lightly in the opposite direction. "Stay home with me.."

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:28 am

"Baby, It's your home just as much as mine. I just need to some space to think and I won't have it here regardless of whether or not you're here." Genesis kept his voice as calm and gentle as he possiably could of. "I'll be back in the morning. I won't be out drinking or with any girls. I promise." He sealed the promise with a kiss as he slipped out of the door and trotted down the stairs to the first floor of the building. His craving for drugs had come back and he knew where to find them. Genesis knew drugs weren't the answer, he knew he was just harming himself further, but they were the only thing besides drinking he had ever learned to rid himself of stress and they were much more effective at it. He mindlessly followed the path he had taken so many times just a couple years ago and wound up in front of a beaten rowhouse that music blarred from. It was Friday night and Andy knew how to throw a good party. He'd keep his promise to Farrah about the drinking though.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:43 am

It took at least ten minutes of sitting with the front door open staring at the path that Genesis had taken down the stairs before she managed to push the door closed. All that mattered to her right now was how Genesis was feeling, and clearly he wasn't handling things well, not that she blamed him for that matter. Resting her forehead against the door, she began to weigh the choices that she had without Genesis looking over her shoulder. Vomiting wouldn't do her any good, and cutting only lasted temorarily.. Alcohol was her best choice. That or drugs. Dropping to her knees, she looked through her purse, finding her phone and dialing Zack's number. "Hey.. do you mind if I come over? Or you come over here at least? I really need to smoke. I'm stressed out.." She murmured, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she looked for some cash in her wallet. She wasn't going to smoke his pot and drink his liquor without paying him. "Genesis is out.. he's coming back in the morning and I really don't trust myself to be alone." She admitted.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:50 am

Zack glanced at the coffee table in the dark living room, the light from the phone illuminating around it. "Gen's Girl" popped up on the screen. "Hey baby, I'll be right back." Zack murmumered, kissing, his girlfriend, Nicole's neck once before he walked into the kitchen and answered it. "Hey Farrah, what's up?" He asked, listening to her reply. "I don't think that's a good idea after last night. Gen wouldn't be happy with that, and my girlfriend is in town and staying the night. If you want some weed, you can drop by and get it though." Zack offered. He knew Genesis wouldn't like the idea of Farrah staying with him the night after he helped her cheat on him. and Nicole wouldn't want anyone else over while she was there. It was an open relationship, but they didn't see each other much and when they did, Nicole wanted it to be just Zack and her.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:59 am

Farrah was just about to hang up when she noticed Zack's voice on the other end of the line. It was a bit discoraging to her that Zack didn't want company, not that it would help the situation between her and Genesis if she hung out with Zack so soon after cheating on him with Zack. "I just wanted something to calm me down and to have a bit of company. I don't exactly trust myself alone and being a fucking wreck. I'll be over in a bit.." She insisted, haning up and shoving her phone down into her back pocket. It was better to at least be out of the house for a few minutes and to drive around than to sit at home where she could easily make herself vomit or grab hold of an object to mutilate her wrists with. Tapping her nails on the counter, she grabbed her wallet and darted out the door, making sure her keys were in hand and she didn't lock ehrself out of the apartment. She would be in quite a predicament if that were the case. Hopping into the slightly older model Mustang she owned, Farrah mindlessly found her way to Zacks shabby neighborhood and onto his doorstep.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:09 am

Zack clicked the phone shut and made his way back into the living room, cuddling back up with Nicole and unpausing the movie. "I love you, baby." He said softly as he kissed the top of her head, which was against his chest. Zack and Nicole made an odd couple. Zack looked like a druggie, Nicole on the other hand had an incredibly innocent look to her. Alabaster skin and long, brown hair that was very wavy matched with hazel eyes and freckles across her nose and cheeks. "Who was that?" She questioned, clutching his shirt. "Genesis' girlfriend, Farrah. She's gonna stop by and get some weed." Zack replied. "I wish you wouldn't smoke that." Nicole said nonchalantly as she turned on her side to face the TV. "I know, baby. I know." Zack stated, kissing her head again and ran his finger's through her hair. Zack heard a knock at the door and felt Nicole almost jump, he knew she didn't feel safe here, which was the main reason he was looking to move. "Come in!" He called, assuming it was Farrah.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:26 am

It was almost immediately that Farrah heard Zack's voice beckoning her to enter the large home. It took a moment's hesitation to let herself in, reliving the disappointment of her actions from the night prior. Twisting the doorknob, Farrah stepped in quietly, noticing that the only light illuminating the room was coming from the television. Instantly grabbing her wallet, Farrah began attempting to accurately count out some money. She knew that she was going to pay him, and more than just what the pot would cost. She felt bad about taking his things and not replacing them, so it was the least she could do to give him money to restock. "Hey." She called half-heartedly, giving the two of them a small wave before waiting on Zack to move from the couch. "How much?" She asked cautiously, noticing the woman who looked much younger than Farrah happened to be eyeing her. She looked afraid even. Perhaps it was the less than secure environment the neighborhood this house was located in rather than herself.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:04 am

Zack lightly pushed Nicole up from him, murmuring an 'I'll be right back' as he kissed her, and she gave him a disspoitnted look. She knew that Zack dealt, but he had avoided doing it when she was over. She was a very skittish person anyway and the thought of drugs and users being around her scared her, no matter how much Zack promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt her. "Hey." Zack said as walked over to Farrah and quickly ushered her into the kitchen. "Sorry, Nicole doesn't like me messing around in drugs." Zack explained as he reached into the back of the cabinet above the fridge and pulled out several bags of different substances, stuffing all of them back into place but the one with the weed. "3gs for $10, sound okay?" He asked pulling out a scale. It was less than street price, but it was Farrah. And after all the shit he had caused her? Well. He think she at least deserved some really cheap, really good weed.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:14 am

Farrah silently succeeded him into the kitchen, not paying much attention to what Zack seemed to be saying. She did catch that his girlfriend didn't like to be caught in the midst of drugs or dealing for that matter, not that she could really blame the girl. Farrah wasn't fond of drugs, but she was going out of her mind and this seemed to be the healthiest alternative for her out of all the poor decisions she could make. "Yeah, that's fine, but here's $20..Keep it.." She insisted, pushing the bill into his palm and closing his fingers around it. Farrah wasn't going to take no for an answer, she wasn't in a bargaining mood, not unless it pertained to Genesis and it was clear he wasn't coming home tonight. Grasping onto the bag of weed, Farrah reached up to hug Zack, glad to know that things between the two of them were at least okay. It was a relief to find that she still had at least one person she could call a friend. "Thank you.." She said softly, glancing down to wipe her eyes quickly before she offered him a small smile. "You guys have fun."

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:29 am

Genesis laid on Andy's couch, everyone from the party had left except a few girls that kept Andy company that night. Genesis had politely pushed them away when they asked if he'd like to have a little fun. He had been restless all night, just looking up at the ceiling for the past few hours as his high wore off. His eyes shifted over to the coffee table where a razor blade and a rolled up $20 bill still laid. God. He didn't want to go home and face Farrah now. With a heavy sigh he forced himself up and found his jacket that was laying somewhere off in the kitchen. He knew Andy was fast asleep with his little brothel upstairs and wouldn't worry to much about Genesis not being there when he woke up. A quick look in the mirror confirmed that he looked a mess, his pupils still dialiated and his nose had some blood on it from snorting last night, but he began his walk home. He hoped she woudln't ask too many questions, but he knew that was inevitable. "Baby?" He questioned, opening the door to the apartment. "I'm home." He stated, shutting the door behind him.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:40 am

Farrah was lying on the bed, glass of whiskey in her hand and mascara streaks down the side of her face as she stared straight ahead at the wall wondering where on earth her life was headed at this point. She seemed to have fucked up the entire world in her opinion, and she didn't see any point of Genesis coming home and being halfway decent with her. It startled her at the sound of Geneis's calling, but Farrah stayed silent for a moment, taking another hit off the joint in her hand before stubbing it out into a cheap plastic ashtray she bought from a gas station the night before. Quietly sliding it into one of the drawers in the bedside table she had brought along with her, she got off of the bed and wiped at her eyes, hoping to erase the black smudges on her face. "Bedroom." She called hoarsely, perching lightly in the chair that lounged on her side of the bed next to the now open window. She hadn't wanted all the smoke to stay inside, but she knew it wasn't enough of an effort to mask the smell from Genesis.

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Re: Genesis/Farrah

Post  Chelsea<3 on Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:57 am

Genesis followed Farrah's directions and also the skunk-y smell that filled the house, one he recgonized all to well. "Baby?" Genesis questioned again as he nudged the bedroom door open and was assualted by a much stronger smell of weed. He had no problem with Farrah smoking it, he just hoped the neighbors wouldn't report it. He shut the door behind him and walked over to Farrah, picking her up in his arms and laying her down on the bed. Genesis pulled her close to him and buried his head against her neck, kissing it several times. "I won't ever leave again. I promise." He said in a short pause before he began to kiss her again. He hated being without her the night before, but he had needed some time to think, alone. "I love you baby. So much." He added, kissing up to lips.

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Genesis/Farrah

Post  AshBash on Sat Feb 25, 2012 10:07 am

At first Farrah remained rigid when Genesis had picked up her and placed her onto the bed. She was bewildered to say the least that he had gone keeping her at arm's length to pulling her close and kissing her. It was much too relaxing though to keep her guard up for very long. Reaching up, she gave him a gentle kiss before wiping the dried blood off of his nose. She ignored it though, assuming he had gotten a nosebleed throughout the night and continued kissing him, nipping lightly at his neck. "Do you have the slightest idea as to how good it is to hear that?" She confided, bringing her attention back to his face with a longing glance. "Don't leave anymore.." she quietly stated, grasping onto his shirt and pulling him a bit closer. It felt far too long since they had been close, either physically or emotionally, and she wasn't about to have him far from her side for the next little while.

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